Gonorrhea: Gal Pal, you need to wake up. Your boyfriend has been sleeping with hookers while in Asia on "business". Also, that Chanel wallet he bought you? Its a fake.
Chlamydia: You obviously enjoyed shagging your way through the rugby team at Uni. I hope Rupert and Hugo were worth it, as you are now probably infertile.
Herpes: Foolish, foolish girl. He said it was "just a little rash" didn't he? And you believed him. Hows that cold-sore now babes? Next time- no glove, no love.
Crabs: You're a skank!! Sleeping with un-washed, under-nourished boys who live in squats and claim to be poets/artists/shamans is tacky. Wash your sheets, move out of East London, and get a Hollywood- stat.
Image by Rankin.
