Wednesday, 11 August 2010

SHOULD I OR SHOULDN'T I: THE FACE BOOK F*CK



Now, I know that I haven't posted in ages and that everyone has probably forgotten about me by now. BUT, in my defense, I'm trying to buy a house, which it turns out is MUCH less fun than buying shoes, and MUCH more expensive. In short, it blows. But maybe, just possibly, I might end up with a walk-in wardrobe. Probably not though. Sigh.

Anyway, I digress. As I said, I'm far to busy with trying to become a mortgage-slave to be going out meeting men, which is why I haven't posted anything in about a million years (in blog time, that is). HOWEVER- I got a message today on Facebook, and to deal with it,I really need your help. Frankly, I'm too wrapped up with Vishal, my overweight mortgage broker, to even think about my sex life, so I've decided to let you make my decisions for me.

So- below is a message I got today, from a boy I have slept with once or twice (OK, maybe three times), but not seen or heard from in two years. TWO YEARS people. Have a read and let me know what you think.
*Please be aware the reference to grouting refers to a witty DIY-related status update, and not anything more sinister.

"Hi ya how’s it going,
Long time I know but I was thinking the other day just how much fun it would be to go and have a drink with you and then on for a night of steamy passion. I think we had fun last time and have been practising so it should be even more exciting this time. I could even do you grouting well help fill your gaps.
What you think?xx"

SO- bearing in mind, I'm in a massive drought, and am not likely to get laid any time soon (despite my efforts Vishal seems to show no interest, which is really rather rude)- can I even stoop so low as to reply to this message?? What do I do? From memory, he was a 6/10 in bed, which is not bad going. The issue is that fundamentally I'm not sure I can deal with an Internet based sex-invite, nor the cringe-fest that the wording above incites (steamy passion? really? not quite how I remember it). However, I am at this moment watching My Best Friends Wedding at home, alone...which feels like some kind of omen. What should I do???????

HELP!!!

Advice to MIWIHSW@gmail.com

Results will be posted soon!!!!

Thank you!!!

Love

Miss V

15 comments:

  1. No!! Seriously....no!! He's probably not getting laid either so he's basically trying everywhere he can!!

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  2. I would agree with no, seriously an invite over facebook is not sexy no matter how desperate you are!

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  3. A booty Facebook message? No no. He needs to man up: at least make the call.

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  4. I'm astonished that you're even contemplating this.

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  5. Think: "what would I do if I was drunk", then do that! :-)

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  6. Been there done that Facebook is not the 'little black book' of cyberspace and that messsage just reeks of desperation. 6/10??!! end of discussion

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  7. i agree, i wouldn't go there!

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  8. As someone who is approaching the one year drought mark, I was tempted to tell you to do it, but then he sounds fairly desperate and sad based on his message. And if he's only a 6/10, is it even worth it?

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  9. Haven't heard from him in nearly two years and the first message is over FB to shag....not sexy and a total DB. Decline!

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  10. As requested, sent via email.

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  11. NO WAY!!! Totally uncool that he's done that. There's booty calling at 3am after a few too many sambucas but that is (I'm assuming) something he's done when sober... Steamy?! What is he, a Mills and Boon author!?!

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  12. do it, its amazing! i love it! 75% of my pre sex planning, finding and getting is done on facebook, and maybe one or two really seedy internet sex finding sites and sometimes even twitter. if you want really simple, no strings satisfaction it is the easiest, most direct and embarrassment free way to get what you want. and i always get what i want. my last "drought" was 10 days long. get the awkwardness out the way on the the internet and go have fun. a 6/10 is better than a 0/0!

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  13. He's been 'practising'? Does anyone actually refer to having sex with other people as 'practising'?!

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  14. His message to you just screams 'loser'. Don't waste your time. Who in the right mind describes having sex/making love as "practising". What a wally! Did you meet up with him? Do tell.

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