Wednesday, 10 March 2010

The Man Who Should Be Into You

I would like to discuss the mysterious phenonmenon of The Man Who Should be Into You. This is a man that you sleep with simply because he is there and you have no better offers. He may in fact be fairly ugly, or a little bit fat. Or be wearing a Ben Sherman shirt. Either way, the basic premise is that you are, say, a 7, while he is, at best, a 5.

You sleep with him because:
a) you have just broken up with your boyfriend and will sleep with anyone who tells you you are pretty
b) you have low self esteem and will, as a rule, sleep with anyone who tells you you are pretty
c) you are 28, single and you have just found out that your ex has got engaged
d) you have found a grey pubic hair. This means you are ancient and will die alone.
e) you have drunk 2 bottles of white wine
f) all of the above.

Another reason that you sleep with this man is that he will undoubtedly shower you with affection, and will definitely call. You don't actually want to see him again, so you will not answer, but will secretly enjoy the attention, and may show his fawning messages to your friends, while laughing ( perhaps saying something like: "My God, I was SO drunk...he was vile, and now he says hes going to start self harming if he doesn't see me again, how utterly HILARE!" ) This will make you feel wanted and superior.


In reality there seems to be some alarming disparity. With frightening frequency it appears that these men, who by the laws of nature, Should Be Into You- are NOT.

Women: if you encounter a Man Who Should Be Into You- beware. What you envisage as a flippant exercise to raise your self esteem, can turn into a disaster. There is nothing worse than NOT hearing from a man who:
a) has a ponytail
b) wears a fedora
c) has a tattoo of the Jamiroquai symbol
d) plays 'war-craft' or any other of those tragic on-line games
e) has a 2 inch penis

The utter shock and degradation when one of these men doesn't even ask for your number can cause lasting and permanent damage. And may cause you to re-offend. Its a dangerous spiral. Tread carefully.


  1. hahahahah I love loveee this blog!

  2. My new favorite blog too, painfulyl because it's all so true...

  3. Don't forget men with moustaches. you think they'd know that they are embarassing to introduce to your friends. but it's almost like the moustache gives them extra confidence or an invincibility shield. dating one leaves you in a state of confusion, where crying, drinking cheap wine and watching bridget jones are the only options.

    avoid at all costs.

  4. OK 5 years ago a man with a 2-inch penis who could not get it up, actually never called back. He said sth like "Don't think about it too much" while leaving. I was 19 he was 28, it took me a while...

    You are Guru-ish! Only if had read this sooner!

  5. My younger brother has a tattoo of the jamiroquai symbol. Have you slept with my little brother?!

    He is a total tit, so you're right on that score.

  6. Ah being dumped by the small penis bad for self esteem!